It’s what makes a hero. A saint. A world-record holder.
It’s the characteristic of the unstoppable. The obedient. The overcomer.
It’s at the core of Jesus’ love. His life. His example.
It is this: a willingness to die.
In case you haven’t guessed, I’m reading missionary biographies again. Even though I can claim the overly-exalted title of missionary myself, I still (especially?) need a good wake-up call–a challenge and inspiration to dig deeper in my faith and ask those authentically piercing questions. Questions like, am I willing to die?
Or do I love this earthly existence a bit too much?
ELISABETH ELLIOT’S EXAMPLE
Elisabeth Elliot is most well-known for the tragic loss of her first husband to a violent tribe in the jungle of Ecuador (you may have read Through Gates of Splendor or watched End of the Spear), but in her biography, we discover that what is perhaps even more noteworthy about her life was “the daily self-death required for one’s soul to flourish.”
Why? How?
What makes a person able to return to the same tribe that killed her husband and offer forgiveness?
What enabled her to take her young daughter into that jungle?
What kept her going and allowed her to write books, speak to thousands, marry again only to lose her second husband?
In Becoming Elisabeth Elliot, it is noted that the “one empowering, paradoxical element within [her] that defined her core, was a healthy willingness to die. Again and again, if God so willed, always believing in His promise that real, robust, exhilarating life comes out of every death.”
So I ask myself, do I believe God’s promise that a truer life is born from death? That death is necessary for a soul’s flourishing?
TO LIVE BY DYING
Easter approaches in a few weeks, and with it, the keen reminder of my Savior’s agonizing and intentional death. With a little imagination, I can be a disciple, walking the dusty roads with him. I would hear him say, “the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and the teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death and will hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified. On the third day he will be raised to life!” (Matt. 20:18-19)
We come to Bethany, and I witness the tears of Mary and Martha–of Jesus himself–as they mourn Lazarus’ death. And Jesus’ response to Martha’s plea: “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26) Do I? I’d wonder. Then I’d watch a man, dead four days, come out of his tomb at the master’s call. Yes, I think I do believe!
But as this miraculous report goes out, word comes back of a threatened and infuriated Sanhedrin. The religious leaders want Jesus dead. We retreat into the wilderness and huddle in obscurity. (See John 11:54) But the Passover feast approaches, and Jesus grows restless. We sense his steeled determination as we return to the home of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. There’s no turning back now. Next stop, Jerusalem, and likely death.
In Jerusalem’s crowded streets, we learn of Jesus’ spreading fame. Even the visiting Greeks want to meet him, but, unswayed, Jesus maintains focus and replies, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” (John 12:24-25)
Out of death comes life. Abundant life. Eternal life.
FIRST DEATH, THEN RESURRECTION
We know what’s coming next for Jesus, but I’ll pause the narrative there, as I believe this is the tension we wait in even now: “to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Phil. 1:21)
There is no loss for the follower of Christ as he passes from this painful existence into the beauty of eternal life. But what about every loss before that? What about the sacrifices? The pain of following God in the wilderness? The dying to self so that others might know eternal life?
For the disciple, none of this is easy. The joy and the pain go hand in hand in this imperfect world. Yet, as one who writes about soul restoration and longs to see my brothers and sisters avoid the causes of burn-out, I have to sincerely ask if Elisabeth was right. Is daily self-death the key to a soul’s flourishing?
That can only be true if I also hold the belief that Jesus is the resurrection and the life, and out of every death, big and small, He brings a hundred-fold fruitfulness. As Elisabeth wrote, “we can never lose what we have offered to Christ. We live and die in Him, and there is always the resurrection.”
The resurrected life always triumphs. But before anything can be resurrected, it first must die.
Do you believe this?
Soul care practice: I asked more questions than I answered in this post, and intentionally so. Consider jotting one down and keeping it in your pocket, taping it to your mirror, or mulling it over in prayer while taking a walk.
- Am I willing to die, or do I love this earthly existence a bit too much?
- What enabled Elisabeth Elliot to live a flourishing life of self-death?
- Do I believe God’s promise that a truer life is born from death?
- “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26)
- What do I do with the loss, the sacrifice, and the pain of following Jesus’ in the cruciform life?
- Do I believe that daily self-death is the key to a soul’s flourishing?
- Is there something I need to surrender or die to so that God can bring resurrection life out of it?
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