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Do You Have a Love Language with God?

October 1, 2019

I shove the casserole in the oven, glance at the clock (forty-five minutes until I need to leave is enough time to make cookies, right?), and start scouring Pinterest for some magically quick recipe so I can contribute a snack for the meeting. 

My husband rolls in on his bicycle, plastic bags swinging from the handlebars. “Hey! Thanks for picking up fruit,” I call out. He sees me slumped at the table, furrowing my brow at my phone, and asks what I’m doing. “I want to bring something to share tonight, but I don’t really have time to make anything.” 

“How about mango? I just got a bunch.” He watches for my relieved nod before grabbing a bowl and preparing the fruit. He even goes so far as to put plastic forks and cups in a bag. I make him swap the cups for plates. Who eats mango in a cup? It would work better, he says. I laugh. I admire his ability to think outside of the box. Even more than that, I admire how fluently he has learned to speak my love language: acts of service. His first language is probably words of affirmation, followed closely by physical touch. 

Every member of my family is different. My son soaks up quality time, my daughter adores receiving gifts. And knowing these differences in each other helps us connect more deeply and appreciate each other’s unique way of showing love. So thank you, Gary Chapman, for popularizing this idea of the Five Love Languages.

But can we stretch this idea into our relationship with God? I would dare to say, absolutely yes.

It’s not too difficult to think about God speaking to our hearts in ways that we can individually understand. He is personally and intimately involved in each of our lives, after all. And He is certainly big enough to be able to show His love for us in creative ways that we will each receive best. (Now, whether or not we are looking for God to extend His love personally to us is a completely different story.)

But have you ever thought about the unique, specific, and deeply personal way you show love back to God? Or do you just go through the motions, parroting what you have been shown of a relationship with Jesus? 

Like a child learning to speak, we all start with mimicry, but, at some point, we must learn to express ourselves personally to others and to God. A couple of weeks ago, I shared the idea of decluttering your quiet time, keeping only those aspects of it that truly spark joy between you and Jesus. Here, we’ll back that thought up just a bit to dig more deeply into discovering what it means to have a joyful connection with God.

Apparently, I’m on a Gary kick today, because I want to take you to another revelatory idea developed by a different author, Gary Thomas: The Nine Sacred Pathways. The sacred pathways show us the primary ways that our souls connect best with the Lord, and include characteristics such as the activist, who loves Jesus by fighting for a cause, the naturalist, who appreciates God best through creation, and the intellectual, who loves God through exploring new ideas about Him. If you’re not familiar with this framework, this is an excellent one-page overview:

What I’ve found as I’ve begun to approach my relationship with Father, Son, and Spirit through the lenses of Love Languages and Sacred Pathways is simply an incredible sense of freedom. I do not need to worship God in all of these ways, and one mode of connecting with Him is not inherently better or more spiritual than another. What I use to demonstrate my love and devotion to Jesus is my own, unique gift to Him. And He accepts it as it is because He accepts me as I am. Hallelujah!

I’m not talking about theological compromise or doctrinal fluffiness. The rock of God’s word stands firm. But I do believe that often our idea of acceptable worship is too small. Perhaps because our view of God is too small. 

He is worthy of worship from every tribe and tongue and people and nation. Amen? (Revelation 7:9)

For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen? (Romans 11:36)

He is the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God. Amen? (1 Timothy 1:17)

Living in a foreign country has allowed me to see a lot of ways of thinking, connecting, and worshiping that I never imagined before. And it’s beautiful. The diversity of the worship of the Lamb of God as He receives praise in countless different languages across the globe is glorious. The complexity of humans and the marvel of a God who can connect with each of us simultaneously and specifically absolutely floors me. 

He is worthy.

And He longs for the truest love you have to offer Him … the love that comes most naturally out of the authentic you. The love He created you — and you alone — to share with Him. 

Reflect on where you are and what you are doing when your heart most naturally and deeply connects with God. How can you create space this week to love God in that specific way?

2 Comments

  • Bonita March 1, 2021 at 10:40 am

    Hmm, thank you for this. It does offer freedom. The way I was presented the Sacred Pathways was as spokes on a wheel and that all should be kind of equal which rubbed me the wrong way. I have grown to love contemplative things and felt frustrated that some people would say I should leave some of that to be more well-rounded.
    Thank you for giving me this freedom!

    • Corella March 7, 2021 at 7:36 pm

      I agree that it can be frustrating to be told we need to relate to God only in certain ways. I think He adores the diversity of His people and the unique ways we can each praise Him. I’m glad you found my representation of this idea freeing!

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